12/18/2006 02:45:00 PM

final for everything

Final at 9am, aka 7 hours away and I still have 4 chpts to go!! No sleep for me tonight..

It's a time for finals. In everything. Final night out with all the exchange students. Final dinner out with my roommates. Final paper for my classes. Final goodbyes, hugs and kisses.

As I prepare to go home, many things come up and float through my mind. I had so many expectations before coming over here of the things I would do and dreamt of doing. Upon reflection, I feel as if I have not accomplished any of them. It seems like all my plans washed away and I have not stood my ground in many things. I have simple melted like snow to the heat from everyone around and become someone that everyone loves.

Don't worry, I have not changed that much. But I am ashamed to admit that I did not chose to shine/bring Him glory when the time came. My priorities have changed slightly with me becoming more independent. Realized how important my family and friends are to me. And that without God or my spiritual family, I wilt like a flower without water. Things seem clearer in that in every decision I make, I know I need to face the consequences and not run away from them.

Guess I am unsure about returning home in that I am different, and everyone and everything at home is different too. Kinda dont know what to expect. My family is not included though. Know that they will be the same for me. As for friends and spiritual family, it's another story all together. My biggest fear is of how they will see me now, of dealing with their views, their judgements of them, and whether they like the different me.

Time apart either brings people closer together or drives them apart. I hope for the first. But whatever happens, I know that God will always remain the same. My relationship with Him can and will change. But He never does.

7 days til I'm home. We'll have to see what happens.

+ AMEN

:charissa sarah seah
:22 yrs old
:princess of God
:auditor
:mother/leader-in-the-making
:rissa_seah@hotmail.com



:my Father, Lover & King
:the whale, penguin & peng-let
:grandma ~ lily
:mama ~ wanting
;family
:friends
:crystal light
:cuddly bears & giraffes
:colours
:sunflowers & blood red roses
:diamonds :)


:: to have the very heartbeat of God ::
:: to be a Mother of nations ::
:: to be a faithful wife & mother ::



:Isaiah 51:1-3
"Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness & who seek :the Lord.. look to Abraham.. & to Sarah..
:When I called him he was but one, & I.. made him :many.
:The Lord will surely comfort Zion &.. look with :compassion on all her ruins..
:Joy & gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving & the :sound of singing."



:


:GOD's Word
:GOD's love
:my family
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designer