victorous in GOD

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

8/23/2006 02:36:00 AM

beauty through His eyes

It's been a while since I really took time to quieten down, to just sit and reflect. In the midst of preparing for my trip, I have forgotten to be still before God and listen to what He has to say to me. Just like a bee, the noise from the flapping of my wings have shut out His soft, gentle voice.

Today was a day of recuperation, of simply remaining at home and taking things slow. Know that I've been trying to do as much as possible (meet as many people as possible for as long as possible, buy all the things I need in as short a time as possible..) and this has resulted in a physical burn out, one which I've used an excuse to not spend extended amounts of time with my Father.

Many thoughts have been floating around in my head this past week and now is the time to untangle them. Received a number of thought-provoking and challenging questions/statements from the Holy Spirit which have caused me to rethink and review my perceptions and expectations.

One such realization would be the fact that as with most humans, I'm a hypocrite at times, intentionally and unintentionally. Someone passed a comment and I viewed him as being judgmental. Reacted by making a number of statements, which upon reflection sounded harsh and unfair. Then the Holy Spirit spoke, "Charissa, aren't you passing judgment on him too?"

Wow, a timely reminder of my fallen nature, of my imperfections. And as it is said in Matthew 7: 1-2 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged.." God, I don't want to view myself as better than others or draw conclusions in an impulse. So Lord, please keep me humble in spirit and loving at heart. Take away my pride and remind me that I am saved by grace and grace alone. Amen.

Another perception-altering question from God was, "My daughter, how do you define true beauty and what is it about a man that captures your heart?" A lot of times when people ask me what attracts me to a person, I would answer, "Height, built & charisma!!" All on the exterior. These past few weeks, God has been opening up my eyes and my heart to those around me. He has caused me to see that true beauty is not skin deep but is from the inside. Cliché, I know. But what my Lord says is always true.

Now, I find a person's countenance very important. One can tell from that whether he is close to the Lord or not. A man with a big heart, a heart after my Lord is another thing that is attractive. To see a brother helping another brother, supporting another brother, praying for another brother in a loving manner, that is beautiful. And gentleness, that is something only God can give a man. When He does, it makes that man special and surprisingly manly! :)

Noticed these things being evident in the brothers around me. To see God changing each and every one of them, molding them into strong and sensitive men of God is a real joy. I thank God for showing me that there are good men out there, unlike what the media and the world tells me. Continue to let God work in your lives and use you my brothers!!

Mama's asking me about whether I want to be under covenant during my stint overseas and God's question has gotten me thinking about where my heart is on this issue. Will I let the first person who shows his interest in me have my heart or will I wait until God tells me that this is the one? I thank God for changing what I thought was attractive in a guy to what He views as attractive. So God, my personal match-maker, please mold me into a woman after your heart, one that is gentle and loving so that I may attract a man who chases after you. Protect my heart that it may be pure and whole, keep it safe until the time comes for me to give it to the man you choose for me. Thank you Father. Amen.

For the next few days before I leave, I want to slow down, to stop and watch, to listen, to take the time to appreciate the things around me. Am feeling less nervous and more confident about my trip now. Not by my own strength or doing but because of a word from God. During worship on Sunday, sensed the Holy Spirit saying, "My child, do not fear. I have prepared a place for you in Boston." And a peace from above washed over me. Wow, thank you Lord. Want to go and find out what He has in store for me.

Jer 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." I know it'll be great!!

+ AMEN